Not only babies are allowed to cry, mommies can cry too!
Anyone who has given birth would tell you there was a time when they always wanted to cry, and a lot. It’s been two weeks since I gave birth and I admit I have felt a myriad of feelings – more than I have ever felt before. Of course, I always welcome positive feelings but I didn’t expect that hormones could drive anyone who has given birth crazy.
Baby blues are normal which could include feelings of frustration, anxiety, anger, etc. However, when they last for weeks – it could be a sign of a more serious form of depression called postpartum depression where mothers actually lose their appetite because of their feelings.
My baby blues
Personally, I feel tired and lousy but I do not know why when Baby Ashton sleeps most of the time at this stage. I’ve been reading up about baby blues and postpartum depression, and the best solution is to rest. I guess I (and most moms who just gave birth) haven’t had a decent rest since they have given birth. At the hospital, nurses have been coming in and out to check on you. When you get home, you’d think you’ll finally be able to sleep but wait until the baby adjusts and cries every two hours. Then you’ll have new and sudden routine tasks as a mom like changing diapers, pumping breast milk, washing and sterilizing bottles at least 3 times a day, giving the baby a bath, and getting him some sunshine every morning. Then there are visitors who could arrive just before you finally get your ME time.
Anyone would cry given that situation! Sometimes, I cry for minute reasons like when I badly need continuous sleep and last night, when I walked into my old bedroom where me and my husband used to sleep. I just suddenly got nostalgic and feared changes that are happening.
Sometimes, mommies should be given their alone time to reassure normalcy – that they can still enjoy what they are doing before giving birth even now when they have a child. My advice for moms experiencing the same is to try and spend some time outside of the home. I enjoyed this last week when Baby Ashton and I had our check-up then I told my husband I want to go for some shopping and so we did at a nearby mall. I felt happy and re-assured that I won’t be stuck at home forever. Today, my husband told me to watch a movie with my college friend, and so I enjoyed Sex and The City 2. I felt ecstatic and wanted to cry but this time, it is because of happiness. It was my first time to be away for a short while from Ashton and I missed him already after just 3 hours of being away.I could not believe I can still watch a movie because my hormones are telling me otherwise!
Mommies should expect a roller coaster ride with their emotions and feel shortchanged by their husbands. Honestly, I cried one time and told my husband I feel it is unfair that he can go out whenever he wants to while I cannot. It is stupid because at the back of my head I know my husband needs to work but hormones are just like that. I am lucky my husband is supportive and tries to make me feel better all the time.
Tonight I wanted to sleep early while Ashton does but then my tooth suddenly ached, my favorite painkiller is not working and I want to cry again. My husband just enjoyed a movie and when I called him up he said they were having an after-movie eat out. My hormones are saying “hey how come you can stay out late while I am in agony?!” And as I was writing this post, I spilled my breastmilk all over the wooden floor 🙁
Instead of being dramatic I just texted my partner to bring me some icecream from the convenience store, for my teeth and to cheer me up 🙂 I won’t let these fluctuating hormones affect me big time. According to my readings, breastfeeding moms experience this more. Most of the time I catch myself feeling irritated just about by anything, in Filipino I call these feelings “naaalibadbaran”.
Mommies should be aware of baby blues and postpartum depression, become prepared for it and also let your husband, friends, and family know. Spend at least an hour for some ME time, get some rest by enlisting help and learning to let go. Remember, this is not the time for everything to be perfect – you (like me) are still adjusting to a new life called motherhood. Limit guests to close friends who can truly help you relieve some stress and who will allow you to vent out your weird emotions 🙂
